We walked to the gates of the cemetery, it was closed till another day. "i guess we can't get inside unless we jump the fence or something", "well i'm not really up for doing that right now" Nic replied. "yea me neither" I said. "well hey what if a ghost appeared out of nowhere and just blinked towards us?" "then we run" Nic joked. I walked slightly away from the gates, there was a smaller much less imposing "gate" before reaching the main one, it was more like three posts with a chain attached between each of them. "hey lets walk over the threshold of death" I said, as the words left my mouth they froze in the air and steamed in front of me. A chill stroke my back and for some reason i felt deathly afraid of something, like if there were eyes fixed on me somewhere gazing at me with a heavy stare. "how about you do it?" Nic replied, i was somewhat surprised, Nic afraid? "how about we do it at the same time?" I countered. we walked towards the mini gate feeling somewhat foolish for being slightly scared, we took a step over it and then we were directly in front of the iron bar gate. we looked inside all the sounds from the graveyard seemed to be somewhat louder. "ok lets go we can't do anything here, its too late at night" i said trying to hide my abashed fear. I walked back over the small chain gate and every noise ceased at once. at first this was somewhat odd to me, i looked behind me "let's go Nic!". we walked back through the path we came,...not a sound, the dogs that were barking so ferociously stopped, the night air seemed even colder, the streets seemed darker, our footsteps the only noise around in ear's length. i looked behind towards the graveyard we were leaving behind, a white figure walked across and vanished. I tensed. "Oh SHIT!" "What?" Nic turned and asked somewhat frightened. "What happened?" he inquired "nothing im sure. just my imagination." we walked on. the street got darker as we proceeded home, as we passed the mansions and big houses each one darker ad more menacing than the last, it seemed like someone was following us,something was following us. we decided to walk in the middle of the street so as not to be suprised. the street was crowded by trees each taking its command over the sky, trying to spread itsinfection of darkness over the sky blotting out any light which could help us see anything in front of us. no wind was blowing, no stars above, not even a moon to make the sky more ominous. yet we couldnt help but feel a sense of danger, the bushes by the road rustled loudly, we turned towards it startled, still it didnt stop. Nic and I put up our dukes. "maybe its a rabbit or something." i tried to rationalize. "whatever it is lets get ready to make a run for it, it might be a coyote." Nic replied. soon the rustling stopped and we got clear of the foliage, the trees rescinded its command over the night sky and streetlights started showing up again. the streets became lit again. "hey i think we're ok. lets take this other path", "where does it lead?" responded Nic. "It leads to the street near your house i think its either plummer or Nordhoff". Nic looked somewhat confused "are you sure?" "of course i am" somewhat undecidedly. We walked down the new path, as we passed each house i had an eerie feeling as if someone were watching us again or even following us. the houses we passed seemed bright and cheery but as we passed the houses i couldnt help but feel like a menacing power was watching us from the windows of each house, stalking us. "hey Nic" "yea?" "what if we were being followed by a reaper?" "a what?" he asked. "a reaper" i said "you know hooded being, scythe? like what if it was following me or something and even though we couldnt see it, i could easily FEEL it knowing it was there waiting for the opportune moment." "well then i
d get the hell away from you then" Nic laughed. "hey Nic, i dont know if its just me but i keep seeing faces in those windows and the cars we pass by, im pretty positive its my imagination but i cant help but get the feeling something really is there" "dude stop scaring yourself, and think of something else" Nic said wisely. "yea i guess your right" i admitted. we kept walking and as we did it got eerily colder, there were lights everywhere yet the street seemed dark and we suddenly got a sense of urgency and started walking faster as if something really was following us. I started seeing things everywhere again and i felt chills run through me repeatedly, we heard a loud buzzing noise coming from in front of us. "hey that lamppost is buzzing, think it might be reacting to non-constrained electro-activity?"
i pondered aloud. "what do you mean?" nic said somewhat confused. "well all humans have a small 'force field' of electro-activity that somewhat constrained by our skin, but ghosts supposedly still have this field but its a wider field that why it usually affects electronics and stuff, and maybe its affecting the lamppost" nic said nothing, he only pondered the possibility but we decided to walk faster anyway. finally after another twenty minutes of scaring ourselves thanks to our imagination we got to Nic's house. i went on the computer and he went to go take a shower (according to him) after about forty-five minutes, he walked into the room with a scared look on his face and looked at me and said "DUDE, THAT WAS SCARY. WE'RE NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!" i wasnt so sure what he was talking about, so i gave him a obviously confused look. "i saw something really creepy. i accidently fell asleep in the shower and i had the scariest dream." what it was i could only imagine, "what?" i said completely nervous that i started to smile somewhat (Nic is known to tell a good story and change around a couple of details to make it more interesting) "well i guess i fell asleep, I NEVER FALL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER, and i had this dream...i dreamt that me and you were walking outside like we just were and we were going somewhere. i asked you where we were going but you said 'dont worry about it' and then i heard a voice behind us say 'hey guys! wait for me' i turned around and no one was there, but i called towards you and said 'Hey Alan, i think someone following us' you turned and said 'dude, theres no one lets go or we wont make it in time' i still didnt know where we were going so i asked you again and you said 'dont worry about' after you said that the voice replied again 'hey guys wait up im almost there' it sounded like a little kid or something. so i told you to wait up that some kid was following us, 'dude no one is there come on' you kept walking and went under a lamppost and the light went off and you disappeared, 'ok guys im here' i heard the little kid behind me so i turned and there was a kid like 7 or 8 years old and he had straight black her covering his eyes and we was looking down and was wearing a plaid shirt and some shorts. 'i think im lost' he said, and i asked him where he lived. the kid pointed the opposite direction and i turned to look, i didnt see anything but i heard him say 'i think theres something wrong with me' i turned around and the kid looked up at me and his eyes were green and they started to glow slightly and then i realized that the kid's clothes were tattered and all over his body he had open wounds and he was bleeding all over 'i think theres something wrong with me' he said again and his mouth teared open from the right side and insects started flooding out, and hid mouth started oozing blood like a fountain and then i woke up".















Comments
I feel the story should have a closing paragraph in the end, simply because it doesn't seem to have a point overall other than telling a personal story. That is, if I were to tell a friend, "Hey, I have to tell you what happened last night!" she would no doubt expect me to tell her the juice. You did that well, actually, but you added on to it by including the aftermath of your adventure--an epilogue, if you will--which to me seems extraneous and takes away from the whole point of the major part of the story, which is you and your friend scaring each other with paranoia and what not. Unless, as implied below the story, you meant to share a story of how your friend is to this day terrified of the little boy, then the latter part of it is almost pointless [albeit very interesting].
So basically, it needs a closing line, or something. But it's an awesome story and I'm totally fave'ing it anyway.
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"LAME." - Cartman
Comic: http://sunnydays.im-mage.com
IATT Oekaki: http://iartthetruth.com/oekaki
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And ohh maann I've been all over the place. Responsibilities and compromises to meet, along with hanging out with friends [when I'm asked to hang out, unless I really can't, I never say no]. Yesterday surprised the hell out of me since though--I didn't end up doing anything after school thanks to my friend and mom. >_>
But anyway! I'm babbling. Just read my journal when I talk about what's been going on. (b ' '
--
"LAME." - Cartman
Comic: http://sunnydays.im-mage.com
IATT Oekaki: http://iartthetruth.com/oekaki
--
ARC-
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